


Swear Jar

by Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle



Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom
Genre: Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Gen, Humor, brotherly Anti and Robbie fluff, he curses like a freaking sailor, like seriously I'm about to stick soap in his mouth, rating is for the curse words Anti uses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-04
Updated: 2018-04-04
Packaged: 2019-04-18 06:06:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 999
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14206749
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle/pseuds/Cigarettes_and_GIngerAle
Summary: Anti has long had a problem controlling his language. He'd better fix it before Robbie starts repeating what he- too late.





	Swear Jar

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea in my head ever since I decided that my version of Anti curses like a sailor. Be warned, this one is filled with curse words. This is your warning!!!

“FUCK! Dammit, Schneep! Warn me before you stick a needle in me!” The doctor rolled his eyes. “You’re being dramatic, Anti. It barely pricked you.” “ ‘Barely PRICKED’ me?!  Like hell you barely pricked me! You _stabbed_ me with it!”

Anti’s whining could be heard throughout the Septic house. A few rooms away, Robbie lifted his head, “Antee? Hur?” Across from the zombie, Marvin and Jameson rolled their eyes. “He’s getting his flu shots from Schneep, he always gets dramatic when he gets them.” Robbie stumbled to his feet. “Antee nee…Robbie.”

Marvin cast a spell to shut the door before the zombie could leave. “He’s alright, trust us, Robbie. He’ll be in here in just a couple minutes. He’s not hurt, he’s with Schneep.” Robbie turned to Jameson, the mute ego nodding in agreement. With a pat on his back, Robbie shambled back to sit down with the other two.

“Now, do you have any threes?” Jameson smirked and shook his head.  ‘Go fish’, read his speech slide. Marvin frowned. “Yeah, yeah, don’t be so cocky. I’m winning.” He drew a card from the stack. “Alright. Robbie, your-“

“FUCK!” Robbie jumped, dropping his hand. “Antee?” Marvin shook his head with a sigh. “He’s fine. He _hates_ shots.”

For a moment, Robbie simply stared at his fallen cards. “M…Mar?” “Yeah, Robbie?” “Wha…fu…fuck mean?”

The air grew chilled as Marvin and Jameson dropped their cards, the mute ego covering his mouth and the magician becoming deathly pale. “Robbie”, he whispered, “don’t say that word.” “Fuck?” “Yes, that word. It’s a _bad_ word.” Robbie’s brows furrowed. “Antee…say lots.” “Yes, Anti says that word a lot. But it’s a bad word. Don’t say it.”

Suddenly, Anti stomped into the room. “Ok Rob, it’s your turn to see Schneep.” The zombie lifted worried eyes to his adoptive brother. “Shot?” Marvin laid a gentle hand on the zombie’s shoulder. “It’s alright. They don’t hurt. Right, Anti?”

The glitch narrowed his eyes at the magician. “…nah, they don’t hurt really hurt.” He helped the zombie up and led him to the doctor’s office.

* * *

 

“Ah, hello Robbie! How are you?” Robbie stood in the doorway with Anti just behind him. “F…fiiine…” “That’s good! Why don’t you come have a seat on my special table and we can see how healthy you are?” Robbie glanced at the examination table and quickly hobbled over to it. “B...bearrrs!”

Schneep grinned, he had laid out some bear-themed paper on the table specifically for the zombie. “Yes, it has bears on it. And you like bears, right?” Robbie nodded and jumped up on the table, gently stroking each of the teddy bears. “Like….bearrrs!” Schneep chuckled and glanced over at Anti. “Do you want Anti or Marvin here with you, Robbie?” “Antee!”

The glitch grinned, joining the zombie and ruffling his hair. “Right here, Rob.” “Ok, Robbie, can you open up for me and say ‘ahh’?” “AHH!” The pungent odor of death hit the German’s face. He blinked and coughed as discreetly as possible. “Y-yes, that’s good.”

A few minutes later, Schneeplestein had almost finished the exam. The zombie’s heart was incredibly slow, about forty beats per minute, as were his reflexes. His eyesight was decent, but he had poor hand-eye coordination – he was unable to catch a ball rolling towards him. The doctor made a mental note to work with him on his gross motor skills, especially his walking.

“Ok, almost done, Robbie! You’ve been really good, so do you want to hold something for me?” “Mhm!” Schneeplestein’s eyes crinkled around his mask and he reached into a cabinet. “Ok, choose one or two!” “wh…onne!” The doctor pulled a stuffed bear out of the cabinet with a flourish.

Robbie took the bear with a squeal, eyes squeezing shut as he gently stroked the fur. “That’s for being such a good patient! Now, sit still and hold your new friend for a moment…” Without another word, Schneeplestein drew the syringe out and quickly shot it into the zombie’s leg.

For a moment, Robbie sat in silence. Finally he opened his mouth. “Damn.”

Now it was Anti and Schneep’s turn to stare in silence. “Robbie. What did you just say?” “D…damn? Antee say…lots when…hur…hur-t.” The doctor glared menacingly at the glitch, who was trying to poorly stifle his laughter in a pillow. “Robbie, we don’t say words like that.” “B…but Antee say-“ “No, Anti shouldn’t say those words. In fact,” Anti grew silent as the doctor shot daggers into him, “ _I_ will talk with Anti about those bad words. Why don’t you go back and play with Marvin?”

Clueless to the danger that his brother was in, Robbie nodded and smiled. “Mhm! B-bye, Antee an’ Schneee!” He hopped off of the table and shuffled off as fast as he could, excited about his new ‘friend’.

The doctor’s eyes immediately lost all softness once the door clicked shut. “So, I believe we need to have a little ‘chat’.” “Pshh, you don’t scare me.” “Oh?” Schneep pulled out a scalpel. “You know, you aren’t the only one who enjoys knives.” He pulled out a longer scalpel, inspecting it closely as the glitch’s eyes widened. “My experience is simply… _legal_.”

* * *

 

Anti tries to work on his cursing habit, especially once Robbie began to parrot his words. He’s put nearly ten dollars into a swear jar that the zombie carries around. Whenever Anti lets a word slip, Robbie has been instructed that he _has_ to put a dollar in. “Ah! Antee…bad wor-word! Jar!”

“Aw, but buddy-“ “Nuh-uh! Schnee say…haave to!” Anti can’t tell the zombie no, so he always puts a dollar in. Once the jar is full, the zombie takes it to Schneep or Marvin. One of the two decides what will be done with the money, usually it’s spent on necessities for the house (and a few dollars are kept back so that the zombie gets a prize for ‘helping’ Anti).


End file.
